Ephesians 5:21-33 – How To Love Your Spouse
A dangerous passage
Misunderstood and misused by Christians like us
Context of passage
Eph 5:15 … “walk carefully”
3 explanations of walking carefully
1) verse 15 … being wise
2) verse 16 … knowing what God’s will is
3) verse 18 … being filled with the Spirit.
a. speaking God’s word,
b. singing and making music in their heart
c. giving thanks to God for everything
d. submitting to one another.
Submit to one another – v 21
“submit to one another out of reverence to Christ”.
Three examples…
1) Eph 5:22 (wives and husbands)
2) Eph 6:1 (children and parents)
3) Eph 6:5 (slaves and masters)
Mutual submission?
Submit to one another = need to submit to the one that God has put in authority over you.
Wives submit to your husbands (v 21-24)
voluntarily put yourself under the God given headship of you husband, under the order God has established in his creation.
Headship from God’s point of view
= servant leadership for the glory of God the Father
Things to note about submission
– both are both equally undeserving of salvation
– both of equal value and worth in the eyes of God,
– both of equal dignity and worth
– both saved by grace and saved to heaven.
– not about different levels of mental ability.
– Not ‘unthinking submission to your husbands’.
– Not called to submit to ungodly behaviour, ungodly requests or ungodly actions of your husband (see Acts 5:29).
Submission = thoughtful submission, shaped by God’s word, offered because of and driven by your devotion to God.
Submission is NOT …
Blokes love your wives
v 25 – love your wife the way that Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
See
– Eph 1
– Eph 2 – “For it is by grace you have been saved, by faith, this is not of yourselves it is a gift from God, not by works so that no one can boast”.
… unceasing care and loving service to her entire well-being as a Christian.
… a huge call.
… love your wife regardless what you perceive she has not done for you.
The direction and purpose of your love
… verse 26-27
= to make her holy
= to present her to God holy and blameless.
Verse 28-29 … tender affection and care
…never in any circumstances allow you to mistreat her, abuse her, demand sex from her or make her live in fear of you.
For us today
different circumstances, personalities and preferences
So how do we get to the specifics?
– Asking
– Thinking