A lengthy article was posted online this week at www.abc.net.au/news, entitled “Submit to your husbands: Women told to endure domestic violence in the name of God”. The article rightly highlights the problem of domestic violence and the response of the Australian Christian churches to it. It has provoked much debate. It seems timely, then, to revisit a 2015 newspaper article written by NSW Anglican minister Sandy Grant to gain a Christian perspective on domestic violence.
For Christians who missed the memo: the Bible abhors all domestic abuse
I’m thankful for the many in our community from Australian of the Year Rosie Batty, to the Sydney Morning Herald’s ‘shine a light’ campaign who are speaking out on domestic violence. Even if it makes me and my own tribe – more theologically conservative Christians – uncomfortable.
I’m grateful since one of the best-known facts of Jesus Christ’s life is his compassion to women, especially those in need. Jesus protected women.
The good things scripture says about marriage should not be twisted as a cover for domestic abuse. So in 2013 the Sydney Anglican Diocese Synod passed my motion calling our training institutions, like Moore College, to beef up our approach to educating clergy about domestic violence and how to respond in our churches. When I moved that motion in Synod, I was thinking of a lady from church, who was just then moving to a refuge to escape an unsafe situation. She’s safe now and is doing really well, in part thanks to some great friends at church who’ve supported her.
But I’m also thinking of a former parish, where the wife stayed in an unsafe place for much longer than wise. She thought her wedding vows before God meant she could not leave her husband and move herself and her children to safety. I’m so sad about that.
When faced with concern at domestic abuse, I’ve experienced being unsure how best to help. My straw polling of colleagues, including experienced ones, has confirmed this. So we’ve got to do better.
Personally, the only position I’ve heard taught in Anglican pulpits and lectures, over 25 years’ ministry experience, is that such abuse is wrong and that nothing in the Bible excuses it. But tragically I know that others have heard differently from some pulpits or in pastoral counsel.
Often we’ve just not been explicit enough in naming ‘domestic violence’ and the fact it refers not only to actual violence, but to threats, verbal abuse, restrictions on movement, and other emotional or psychological abuse.
So let’s be clear for any Christians who missed the memo. The Bible says any abuse or aggression from one spouse to another, whether physical or verbal, is wrong.
For example, Colossians 3:19 says, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them”.
St Peter says we’re never to exploit those with less power.
What about a passage that sounds foreign to modern western ears, like Ephesians 5? This section asks a wife to “submit” to her husband and says he is the “head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church”. Christians who take the Bible at face value immediately notice how it continues that ‘headship’ is expressed by “loving your wife, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”. And we know ‘submission’ cannot be bad in and of itself, since Jesus is said to submit to his heavenly father. And all Christians are to submit to the lawful governing authorities (not least in regards to domestic violence laws). We also remember that mutual consent is the standard for decision-making in things like sexual activity (1 Corinthians 7:5).
What does it mean in practice? I think such headship is only properly expressed in loving sacrifice and a concern to nurture, provide and protect (Eph 5:28-29). And loving submission is a loyalty that respects and leaves room for a husband’s initiative in the above (Eph 5:33). Many people find this is good and workable. (to be continued next week)
From Sydney Morning Herald 4.3.15. Canon Sandy Grant is senior minister at St Michael’s Cathedral, Wollongong.